worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
