Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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