Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
