i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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