He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
