i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
