Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
