Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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