he shaved USA in his pubs
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize