She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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