Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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