life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize