I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
