What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
