STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
