yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
