we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
