i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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