Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
