How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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