I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
