I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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