OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
