I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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