I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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