i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
