He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
