Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
