Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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