It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
it's like iHOP with fire
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
