my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
