haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
