I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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