24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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