So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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