my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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