Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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