thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
