your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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