if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize