you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
