Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
