mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
