She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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