I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
