quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
