$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Randomize
