She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize