I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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