I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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