I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
