are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
