Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
