im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
