oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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