Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
