the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
