i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
