haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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