if you like me you must not know who I am
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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