There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
