hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
