I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize