umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I'm always down for nudity.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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