Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
