How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize